Two Years Since Obadiah was Born and Died: More Thoughts on Grief
Today is the second birthday of my seventh child, Obadiah Malachi. It’s also the 2nd anniversary of his death. As I previously wrote, it was the most grievous day of my life.
The past two years have seemed to move in slow motion. Each day is a trial. Each day presses me in some way. What used to be easy is now hard. Some things that were once difficult are now much easier.
Infinity and Grief
San Francisco is Completely Whacked
A friend sent me a link to photos from a January 2006 pro-life march in San Francisco, which shows, along with the accompanying photos and videos, the rabid nature of San Francisco’s pro-choice people. It was so bad, that the police were out in the hundreds to protect the pro-life crowd from attacks - and to keep the march going while pro-choice protesters made three not-so-valiant attempts to block it.
Joshua Salberg Update
For those who are also friends of my parents, or ask how they are doing from time to time, they are doing well. But, they have had their hands full in trying to find the correct medical treatment for their son Joshua.
For those who don’t know, my parents adopted three children about ten years ago (after the original five of us left the ranch). My parents had the children as foster children almost from birth and were considered “special needs” children by the adoption agency. For the most part, the children have grown out of a lot of their initial “problems” they had as infants. A lot of that had to do with my parents spending a lot of time (and money!) getting them the right treatment, therapy, and medical help - and a lot of prayer! There are still some ongoing things - but then again, don’t we all have our little “problems”?
Having Lots of Children Increases Longevity for Men
HealthDay reports that farming and fatherhood help men live to 100 years old. In a widely-circulated report (I found it on the front page of Yahoo!), the ideal candidate to reach the age of 100 is “a young, trim farmer with four or more children”. While the farming and being fit may not surprise most people, even the authors of the study were caught off-guard by the finding about 4+ children.
“We were surprised that having more than three children is beneficial to longevity — based on previous studies by other authors, and common sense, quite the opposite could be expected,” said study co-author Leonid Gavrilov, who conducted the study with his wife, Natalia Gavrilov, both of the University of Chicago’s Center on Aging.
Top Ten Ways to Use your Upcoming Vote to Punish your Children
I wrote this for the 2000 year elections, but considering all the hoopla about the 2008 Presidential race already under way, I thought it appropriate to share these now. I remain hopeful that someone somewhere might benefit from it, despite a decade of proof to the contrary.
1. Always view elections in term of the immediate present. After all, you are the one who has to live with who you vote for, right? Don’t let those “long-term vision” freaks get to you. The next four years is probably going to be the best four years of your life, and you don’t want to go through them knowing you supported a LOSER, do you?
How Expensive are Children, Really?
My wife recently had a conversation which we’ve had many, many times before. A near-40 year old married man commented that he hadn’t had children yet because they are “too expensive”. Really?
This tired argument is perpetuated by ridiculous studies with little merit, like this one at MSN Money which states that families making $70,200 a year or more will “spend a whopping $269,520 to raise a child from birth to age 17″.
On the Importance to Men of Raising Children
There are many events in a man’s life which may rightfully be labeled important. In my own experience, I often look back to determine how these events have changed me, how they have shaped me, or how I have grown through them. Through this reflection, I recognize only one event significant enough to be labeled important, that is, life-changing. Although it can hardly be called a singular event, the raising of children, each day, is the most important event of my life.
How to Homeschool
As a father of six homeschooled children, I get a lot of questions from people on how to homeschool - where to get started, how “legal” is it, what type of curriculum to use, what does the father do as compared to the mother, what about socialization, and how to actually, functionally, do it on a day-to-day basis.
Rather than email each person separately as I have been doing, I thought I’d develop a series that anyone can read so that hopefully they can benefit from what we’ve learned - and our mistakes.
Television Viewing Habits
Steve Pavlina once again has posted yet another good article that I feel compelled to comment on. He currently is in the middle of a 30-day TV fast and while that is good, I’m hoping he, and many others, continue to avoid television much more. As a father of six children, people often question what we “do” since we don’t have a television. I find the question amusing - but first let me give a little background.
FAQ’s
How do I reconcile my religious beliefs with yours?
Great question. I have no idea what you are talking about though. In all likelihood, this is why you and your fellow cult members are being hunted down like rabbits.
Gifts for Obadiah
Just wanted to post this real quick as a sort of public thank you while I was thinking about it. I’m sure there are many other major thank you’s, but wanted to make these known.
Some thoughts on grief
I’m sort of exhausted again after another day of bizarre sleep patterns. My mother-in-law, who has experienced the death of her first child as a stillborn, and the death of her husband about ten years ago, told me today that “grief is exhausting”. I couldn’t agree more. I’m constantly exhausted, feeling like doing nothing, but yet, I can’t sleep. The night before Obadiah’s funeral, I only got two hours of sleep. I later fell asleep for about 90 minutes - just out of sheer exhaustion at about 4 in the afternoon. You’d think I’d come home and crash. No. I only got about four hours of sleep last night.
Obadiah Malachi
Yesterday, I buried my son Obadiah Malachi. He was stillborn on May 21. It has been the most heart-wrenching experience of my life. I feel very much like writing and writing and just getting it all out, yet at the same time feel like doing nothing. But I have to write and here seems as appropriate as anywhere else. I really never handwrite anything anyway, so a journal wouldn’t work for me. My thoughts always come faster than I can write, but I type pretty fast so it is easier to keep up with myself.
Big Truck Show
We like to go to big truck shows as often as possible. The two main ones around Brevard County each year are at Satellite Beach (sponsored by the city I believe) and at the DeGroodt Library in Palm Bay (sponsored by the library). On April 22, from 11am to 2pm, will be “Big Truck Day 2006″ at DeGroodt (at the corner of Minton and Malabar roads). Unfortunately, we might not be able to make it this year. They always have lots of cool trucks for children to climb into and pretend to drive. Here is a picture of the children at last year’s show.
Signs of the Times
I wrote this as sort of a spoof or comedy bit. Maybe you’ll find it funny. Maybe you won’t. If you love to drive I’m thinking you might.
If any driver thinks that the open road is freedom or that their independence is found in their vehicle, let them rethink the situation. We can not drive without being reminded at every quarter mile by some sign that we are bound by the whims and fancies of rogue puppet dictators: city planners, homeowner associations, and worse, the state department of transportation. Whether we realize it or not, these groups exact a toll upon our driving that we often succumb to without even realizing it. Many of the signs do not make sense. The chief of all nonsensical signs is the “Do Not Pass” sign, which if obeyed, would put an end to most trips real quick. All that is needs to be added is “Do Not Collect $200″. But, the dictators’ attempts to control our driving doesn’t end there.
