Gifts for Obadiah

Just wanted to post this real quick as a sort of public thank you while I was thinking about it. I’m sure there are many other major thank you’s, but wanted to make these known.

First, someone came forward and anonymously paid for a nice casket for Obadiah to be buried in. When I initially went to the funeral home, I had just had the intention of signing a few papers and leaving, thinking I’d come back to make other decisions. That didn’t quite happen and the helpful people there sort of dragged me through the process that I wasn’t prepared to do - but needed to be done. Seeing later how fast everything happened, I guess I’m glad they did. But they brought up the idea of a casket and offered to let me have a “free” casket they had - which turned out to be styrofoam - if I didn’t know what to do. They called and got some prices on some baby caskets. The styrofoam one was cute, but I just felt very weird about it. I knew it was probably just superstition - no casket or its contents look too great after a few years underground. Plus, there was the issue of knowing the right size since the hospital didn’t measure Obadiah’s length, so we couldn’t really decide. A friend who drove me up there was very helpful to talk to and he commented that it sort of reminded him of a cooler that you buy at 7-Eleven to go fishing. That sort of clarified my own thinking. I’m sure people have used the styrofoam ones, but I was just concerned about it. I was also more concerned over my wife’s feelings about it.

Anyway, someone contacted the funeral home a few days later and paid for and ordered a very nice casket. It was a very beautiful white casket with little brown wooden handles with brass-like hardware. We felt very honored that someone would not only pay this money for this casket, but that they would be so thoughtful to take the time to find about this need and pursue this on our own. Only a few people knew about our thoughts on the casket, so it could have been one of them, or maybe someone just called the funeral home and inquired as to what needs they thought we might have. The funeral director said he didn’t even know who paid for it, so I just wanted to say a huge hug and thank you to whomever did that. We really loved it - as much as you can love a casket, I guess.

The second one is a big thank you to Wayne at Brevard Florist on Palm Bay Road. The night before the funeral, we finally decided to have some colored carnations for the children to put on Obadiah’s casket after it was lowered. It seems odd, but it was a big decision just because I couldn’t think very clearly and have been indecisive and kind of lost since Obadiah’s death. Since it was late, I didn’t want to go flower hunting at that hour, so we figured we would just try to get some in the morning on the way up to the gravesite.

I stopped by Brevard Florist where I have done almost all my flower shopping since they did our wedding back in 1995. Wayne is an excellent guy who really knows flowers - a rare thing. Even during our wedding planning, we could just describe some stuff to him, and he would go with it, knowing full well that he didn’t have to make me a flower expert along the way. I’ve always trusted his opinion. I’ve placed orders with him over the phone over the years and when I’ve gotten home to see what was delivered, I’ve always been impressed. I’ve always known that I was no good at trying to make my own flower arrangements - very little left-brain activity in my head.

I also had to get a certain rose for Nikki. Well, after Wayne got our bundle together, he insisted on not charging me for it and just telling me he was very sorry for our loss. It wasn’t so much the money, but to me, his sentiment was very real. I think by refusing to let me pay him, he was just being genuine about his concern. At least that’s the way I felt. It meant a lot to me and I had to try to keep from just falling apart right there in his store. Maybe he doesn’t want me posting this on my blog because people might start hitting him up for free flower arrangements. But I hope my heartfelt appreciation for his kindness that morning would instead translate into people considering him as their #1 Flower Guy in the future. It is late now, but I’ll edit this later with his address and phone number when I find it.

The above two things, and all the kindness of folks who have brought us meals, sent us cards, helped us with errands, and just been supportive overall…. I’ve seen all these gifts in my mind as gifts for Obadiah.


Brevard Florist’s address and phone number are: 1358 Palm Bay Rd NE, Palm Bay, FL 32905; (321) 729-8285 and (800) 881-8285. It also looks like you can order flowers from them online here.

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