How do I reconcile my religious beliefs with yours?

Great question. I have no idea what you are talking about though. In all likelihood, this is why you and your fellow cult members are being hunted down like rabbits.

Where can I find more information on Larry and Sally Salberg?

Sorry to have bored you this whole time with my website when you were really looking for someone else. Here’s the 60-second rundown. They started all over and have adopted three children, Amirah, Michael, and Joshua. For those who like to measure these sorts of things, it should be noted that our children are technically nieces and nephews of Amirah, Michael, and Joshua. The elder Salbergs have finally finished their new home in Titusville so Larry only has to drive about ten minutes to work. If you want any more information than this, you are probably either a process server, or so out of the loop as to be more harm than good. But if you persist, you can contact me and maybe I’ll slip and give you their unlisted phone number. A $20 donation will likely help.

Why doesn’t President Bush stop attacking foreign nations?

Simple. Two reasons. 1) He’s the President and 2) (the corollary) you aren’t. But in all seriousness, you are probably asking this question for one of two reasons. Either you are 1) a died-in-the-wool, left-wing, diaper doper baby and afraid of any military conquest, except the invasion of the church by San Francisco homosexuals or 2) a real constitutional scholar concerned over the breaches by the executive branch, in which case, I simply can’t help you here as my server allowance is only 10Gb, which is clearly not sufficient to discuss an argument of this nature, but I applaud you nonetheless.

Who is Batman?

Thanks for asking. I’m sworn to secrecy, however, and wouldn’t tell you unless you got really mad at me. But I will say this, though. Have you ever noticed how Lawrence and Batman are never in the same place at the same time? Don’t read too much into that, though, because it probably isn’t likely that Lawrence is Batman, being from the planet Krypton and all…

What is the Purpose of this Site?

Does everything have to have a purpose? What is the purpose of you visiting this site? Did you think about that? What is the purpose of Windows XP (Home Edition)? What is the purpose of getting up every morning, conducting a rigorous workout routine including cardio-vascular exercises, and eating a healthy diet? Huh? Okay, so maybe there is a purpose to that last thing, but try not to be so introspective. It isn’t good for you. If this site had a purpose, or for those of you knee-deep in the corporate world, a mission statement, it would look something like this: “To be the best little website on the internet, in an effort to give myself some pathetic sense of self-worth by spewing forth every idea and thought I have, on a million-person forum under the delusion that most of these people are reading this and actually care about what I say, so that we can become even more ego-driven as a society than we already are, and eventually internalize all knowledge and morality to our own myopic point of view.”

Can I purchase any Salberg.Org merchandise? How can I support your work here?

Yes. I happen to own Sea World and Dolphin Stadium, so everytime you purchase a ticket there, you are helping to support my…. wait a second. I’m daydreaming again! The only Salberg.Org merchandise for sale is the blank space you see around this site. Make me an offer and I’ll advertise for you in that blank space. Make me a good offer and I’ll create some space for you. Otherwise, send me a donation or just an email saying “thanks”. Leave a comment on anything you think is particularly good.

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