Two Years Since Obadiah was Born and Died: More Thoughts on Grief

Today is the second birthday of my seventh child, Obadiah Malachi. It’s also the 2nd anniversary of his death. As I previously wrote, it was the most grievous day of my life.

The past two years have seemed to move in slow motion. Each day is a trial. Each day presses me in some way. What used to be easy is now hard. Some things that were once difficult are now much easier.

Infinity and Grief

Gifts for Obadiah

Just wanted to post this real quick as a sort of public thank you while I was thinking about it. I’m sure there are many other major thank you’s, but wanted to make these known.

Some thoughts on grief

I’m sort of exhausted again after another day of bizarre sleep patterns. My mother-in-law, who has experienced the death of her first child as a stillborn, and the death of her husband about ten years ago, told me today that “grief is exhausting”. I couldn’t agree more. I’m constantly exhausted, feeling like doing nothing, but yet, I can’t sleep. The night before Obadiah’s funeral, I only got two hours of sleep. I later fell asleep for about 90 minutes - just out of sheer exhaustion at about 4 in the afternoon. You’d think I’d come home and crash. No. I only got about four hours of sleep last night.

Obadiah’s Song

I had asked my friend, Dietrich Browne, if he would consider playing a few songs at the service. We had decided only to have a graveside service. Partly, unlike someone who is older, there just isn’t much for people to say in the way of a Eulogy for a newborn or small child. But then, again, there seems to be something kind of sweet and innocent about that. Like there is such meaning to this life even though the person never accomplished anything or formed any great relationships or whatever. We just have to honor his short life for what it was - a creation from God, a blessing, a gift.

Obadiah Malachi

Yesterday, I buried my son Obadiah Malachi. He was stillborn on May 21. It has been the most heart-wrenching experience of my life. I feel very much like writing and writing and just getting it all out, yet at the same time feel like doing nothing. But I have to write and here seems as appropriate as anywhere else. I really never handwrite anything anyway, so a journal wouldn’t work for me. My thoughts always come faster than I can write, but I type pretty fast so it is easier to keep up with myself.

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